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  "Dan, I think I--" she hiccupped. "I think I drank too much."

  "You’ll be fine," I said with no trace of concern. I was practically dragging her then.

  "Slow down! You’re walking too--"

  That’s when she threw up, spewing vomit full of chucks of burger and French fries all over the sidewalk.

  The vomit hadn’t been part of my plan and it did nothing but infuriate me.

  Stay calm, Jackson warned. It's just puke. Better out here than in the Jeep.

  He was right. Instead of yelling at Jenna I helped her to lean against the side of the building and then went back inside The Sawmill. I came out a minute later with a glass of water, some napkins, and two after-dinner mints. I let her wipe her face and then watched as she took a sip of the water and swished it around in her mouth. She spat it on the sidewalk, creating a puddle of what looked like watered-down vomit next to the giant pile of real vomit. She swished and spat again, and then took a giant gulp of the water. I handed her the mints and she chewed them rapidly.

  I waited a few minutes and then took the glass of water from her. "Feel better now, anything else you need?"

  She shook her head and she suddenly looked much better. The vomiting seemed to have sobered her up some and I wasn’t sure that was a such a good thing, I was counting on her being drunk. "I’m fine now. Thanks for that." She pointed to the glass of water. "And these." She held up her balled up hand full of crumpled napkins.

  "No problem."

  I trashed the napkins and returned the glass of water back inside. Then I went back out, side-stepping the puddle of puke on the sidewalk, and walked with Jenna the short rest of the way back to my Jeep. Once inside Jenna thumped her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes. "Dan, I’m so sorry. What an idiot I am." She looked miserable. "I usually don’t drink that much. I don’t know what got into me. They just kept coming…" She laughed then, and for a second, looking at her slumped back against the seat of my car, the light from a streetlamp illuminating part of her face, I started to feel a bit sorry for her.

  DRIVE!

  The thought went away and I started the car, pulling slowly away from the curb and cautiously back to the Sanderson Homestead. I took the turns slowly, no need for an extra dose of vomit.

  Jenna opened her eyes for the first time maybe midway through the quick trip. "Where are we going?" she asked. Then she groaned. "Oh no, there’s no way I can eat a piece of pie now, not after what just happened. It’d never stay down."

  "I want to throw my manuscript on a thumb drive for you real quick, before I take you back to the hotel. In case you might want to read some of it later. Then maybe we can talk some about it tomorrow. Let me know what you think."

  She nodded and then closed her eyes again, head still back against the head rest.

  It was ten after eight when I pulled my Jeep up to the side of the empty Sanderson house. The Oldsmobile absent, meaning Ralph and Minnie were hopefully dining away at Ramones a solid twenty miles away. I switched off the engine, and then the headlights. I looked over to Jenna and, as if she could sense me watching, she sat up and opened her eyes. When I only stared back she said, "What is it?"

  Now for the hard part. I reached out with my right hand and laid it gently on her upper thigh. She looked down at my hand and then back up to me. She didn’t speak, that was my cue. I started to lean in, but about midway in I had a disturbing thought: The girl had just blown chunks all over downtown! Oh shit!

  Get in there.

  Fuck no.

  Kiss her now!

  God help me.

  I leaned in the rest of the way. She saw what I was doing and didn’t resist. Of course not, this is why she came wasn’t it? We both knew that.

  I opened my mouth and before I could change my mind she rushed her mouth against mine. Our lips interlocked and her breath poured into me. It smelled like old meat and mint and tasted a bit sour. I thought for a second that’d I’d puke, too, but Jackson coached me through it.

  Focus on something else. Mind over matter, Danny boy. Mind over matter.

  My brain scanned through all its files, flipping and spinning pictures and memories of everything I had ever done or thought, trying frantically to find something that would help me.

  It landed on the easiest and obvious answer: Amy.

  Just like that the tastes and smells went away. Jenna’s lips were Amy’s lips, soft and sweet. I started kissing her harder, deeply. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and then reached up with my hand and gently squeezed one of her breasts, firm and nice.

  Jenna shot a hand into my crotch, rubbing and grasping. Fog started to cover the windows and Jackson broke us up.

  Easy, Dan. Easy.

  I snapped out of what I was doing, watching the memory of Amy’s lips fade into blackness, replaced with the drunken whore in front of me. I pulled away, breathing hard. Jenna looked up at me, her hand still massaging my hardened penis. "You going to take me inside?" she asked.

  I smiled. "No," I said, leaning over and nibbling on her neck. "They might come home. That’d just be weird."

  I felt the goose pimples rise up on her flesh and felt her shiver once as my tongue tickled under her ear. "Here then," she said, reaching down and beginning to fiddle with her jeans.

  I reached down and stopped her. "No," I said. Then gesturing with my head towards the back of the house. "The barn."

  "THE BARN?" she yelled out, and the followed it up with a cackling laugh that could only mean she was still very drunk. "Yee-haw! Ride ‘em cowgirl!" She opened the door and pulled away from me, getting out. "Carry me cowboy!" she yelled.

  This is one drunk bitch.

  Yep.

  I got out and walked around to where she was standing. Even in the dark I could see her eyes were wild with excitement. She held her arms out and up like a baby waiting for its daddy to hold her. I obliged, and when I bent over and put my arms under hers, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around me, throwing her arms around the back of my neck. I caught her and carried her across the back yard, some fifty yards to the barn. There were no stars in the sky and the journey was made in almost total darkness. She sucked and licked on my neck the whole time. It was distracting, I won’t lie.

  When we got to the large wooden doors I told her I had to put her down so I could open them. She dropped down, stumbled once and then fell against the barn door. She collapsed onto the ground.

  "Just stay right there," I said. "I only need to open the one door."

  With the door opened I helped her up and inside. "Wow, it's warmer in here than I thought it would be. Can’t see anything though."

  I closed the barn door behind us and then reached down to my left to turn on the two Coleman Lanterns I had positioned. The barn was big, but the half of the barn closest to Jenna and I was immediately lit up with a dim light. It wasn’t bright, but I could see all I needed to.

  Jenna saw, too. Her eyes took in what was in front of her and, even though she was drunk, she knew something was wrong with what she was looking at. She managed to take one step backwards, saying, "What the hell is--", before I punched her twice, hard in the face. Blood squirted out of her nose on the second blow and she fell to the ground dazed.

  Here we go.

  I acted quickly. Although most of me wanted to take my time and savor the moment, Jenna wouldn’t remain stunned for long, and once adrenaline and fear kicked in, something told me she would be quite the scraper.

  The roll of Duct Tape was exactly where I had left it next to the lanterns and I scooped it off the ground, immediately tearing off a lengthy strip. Jenna, who was bleeding heavily from the nose and squirming around in a daze on the floor, looked like she was trying to get up on all fours. I planted a foot in the middle of her back and slammed her back to the ground. She landed hard and let out a gargled cry. I straddled her and brought both her arms behind her back, securing her wrists with the tape. When I had the first strip wrapped around I grabbed the roll and w
rapped some more. Then I did the same with her ankles. As I stepped back and looked at her I noticed that I had her secured in the exact same position I had tied Alex that night in the woods. Jenna was clothed, however. The idea of having sex with her made me want to vomit, throwing up my own chunks of Ralph’s famous burger. It was her sex that had landed her in Jacob’s Bluff in the first place. Her sex was why my wife was dead.

  I watched her wiggle on the ground some more and when she finally managed to flip herself over, looking like a fish flopping on land, our eyes met and I saw her tears. They made me smile.

  "Dan…" she snorted loudly, sucking in the snot and the blood that had been dripping from her nostrils. I watched her swallow afterwards and didn’t imagine that it tasted very good. "Dan, what are you doing?"

  I took a step towards her.

  "Dan, answer me! What are you doing? And what the hell is that?" she jerked her head to the right, simultaneously trying to inch herself backwards like a worm, away from me as I approached. I turned and looked to where she had nodded.

  "Oh that?" I said, sounding like I had possibly forgotten about it. "Why that’s for you. What do you think?"

  The noose hung down motionless from the beam which it was draped over some twenty five feet up. I had to look up online how to tie one, and it only took me two tries with the actual rope in my hand to get it right. For that I was pretty proud. I was no Boy Scout and could often have trouble tying a simple knot. But still, the noose had come easy. Once I had it tied correctly, I threw the rope up and over one of the support beams above. This only took me one try. It hit the ground and the rest of the slack I allowed coiled up around it like a snake landing from a flight.

  The second part was easier, one turn of a key and a little quick maneuvering and I had Ralph's John Deere in place. I secured the other end of the rope--the non-noose end--to the tractor hitch that I had seen Ralph use only once when we drove around and filled his wagon up with sticks and limbs left behind by the big storm. I tugged on the rope with all my weight to make sure it was satisfactory, and then put the lanterns and the Duct Tape where I needed them; easily accessible right by the door. Then I was finished. It wasn’t the most sophisticated weight and pulley system ever invented--I imagine the Mayans would have devised something twice as effective with what I had on hand--but it would do the job.

  "What the hell do you mean that’s for me!" she said, becoming panicked and inching away faster.

  I was calm. My heart was thudding in my chest like a marching band, but I felt completely aware, completely at ease. I had feared that I was going to let my emotions get the best of me, acting outlandish and enraged, but surprising to me I was cool as ice. I was simply a man doing a job. Doing a job that needed to be done with no questions asked.

  I took two quick steps towards Jenna and she screamed, turning her head to the side and smashing her face up in a grimace, as if preparing for me to strike her again. I merely walked up and stopped at her feet. When the blow didn’t come, she opened one eye slowly and peered at me with it. I smiled and waved. "I’m still here." I said, wiggling my fingers. I lifted my other hand and showed her the roll of Duct Tape it held.

  "Dan," she sniffled. "We can talk about this. I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing but come one. It’s me... It’s Jenna. Let’s talk about this, Dan."

  I was a bit surprised at her level of calmness as well. Maybe it was all the alcohol still in her system, but I would have expected more screaming and flailing from a woman about to be murdered. Maybe she was convinced that I wouldn’t go through with it. She sure did act like it.

  It’s me… It’s Jenna. This made me laugh. She spoke as if I didn’t know who I was attacking. As if I were to just snap out of my little trance I would open my eyes and see I was about to kill one of my best buds or something. Geez, how ignorant she was. And talk? I’d talked to her all I ever wanted to and then some. There were no more words that needed to go between us ever. I was done with Jenna McMurray of the McMurray Literary Agency.

  I tore off a strip of the tape and straddled her again. She tried to slide out from under me, kicking her knees up at me as she did so, maybe going for my groin. I lifted one foot and then stood on her chest, pushing her down and immobilizing her. "Stop." I said.

  She looked up at me from a face streaked with blood and tears. Then she said the last thing she would ever say to me, "Dan, look at what you’re doing? Look at me. Why are you doing this?"

  I was disappointed that she didn’t know the answer. I couldn’t believe I was going to have to give it to her. In a fast, swift motion I put the tape over her mouth. She tried to scream out but only managed a peep before the tape trapped the sound. Then I bent down and put my face close to hers. Her breathing was fast and rapid and she yelled murmured screams beneath the tape. I grabbed her head in my hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "I’m avenging my wife."

  I didn’t wait for a reaction; I didn’t want one. I reached down and grabbed her under the arms and lifted, shouting, "Get up!" She didn’t move at first, but when I raised my fist above my head her eyes shot open wide and there was more of the jumbled murmur from beneath the tape. I felt her start to move her legs in an effort to stand and I managed to pull up and get her on her feet. I positioned myself behind her and wrapped my arms around, looking like I was about to give her a bear hug. I needed to pick her up and move her to the noose. I squeezed and just as I was lifting she slammed her head back hard. The back of her skull connected with my chin and lower lip and I immediately felt the warm rush of blood start to trickle from where the lip had split. I cried out and let her go, bending over in pain and wiping away blood with the back of my hand. It didn’t help and soon blood was pooling on the barn’s floor.

  I looked up and saw Jenna trying to hop her way to the door, looking like she was a contestant in the world’s bloodiest sack race. I sucked on my lower lip and took off after her. She stumbled and fell to the ground in a heap just as I reached out to grab her.

  Pissed and bleeding I grabbed her hair and pulled, dragging her back to the noose as she kicked with her legs, trying to propel herself, all the while screaming out muffled nothings.

  This time I didn’t wait around for assistance, I reached down and lifted her whole body off the ground, sitting her on her feet once again. I slapped her across the face, the sound echoing through our enclosure. Then I grabbed her chin in my hand and jerked her head so she was looking at me. "Don’t fucking move." I said. Before she could think about disobeying I reached up and looped the noose around her neck, tightening it hard, causing her garbled screams to cut off as her airways pinched shut. I loosened it just a bit at that and then stood back, admiring my work. My lip was bleeding bad, dripping down my chin and onto my neck and sweater, but I hardly noticed. The sight of Jenna before me, her life about to be ended at my hands, was enough to make all my pain go away.

  I turned and started towards the tractor and as I went I heard Jenna trying to hop away behind me. I’m not sure where she thought she was going, but I wasn’t worried, she wouldn’t get far. I hopped into the driver’s seat of the John Deere and turned the key.

  The machine came to life under me, its engine music to my ears. I turned around and saw that Jenna had managed to make it maybe five hops away. I laughed and then yelled out, "Ride ‘em cowgirl!", putting the tractor into drive mode and starting forward slowly.

  I didn’t move far at all before the slack on the rope vanished and I turned to watch as Jenna’s body jerked backwards and the rope pulled at her neck. She struggled to stay standing, almost falling once but using the support of the noose around her throat as leverage to stay up. When she was back where she had started, directly under the wooden beam from which the rope was slung over, I inched forward just at tad, causing the rope to pull up just enough so that she had to stand on her tip toes. Then I looked up to the barn roof, a wooden version of the Heaven to which I wanted to speak, and said, "Amy, babe? This is for you. I’ll always love
you."

  I pushed the throttle up with a quick jerk and the tractor shot forward, effortlessly lifting Jenna’s body off the ground. I drove until she was maybe three feet off the ground and then stopped. With the engine still running I jumped off the seat and ran around to the front of her, wanting to make sure I got to watch her die. And also making sure she saw me as she went. Her legs were kicking frantically at the air, searching for an imaginary step stool. Her eyes bulged from their sockets and I thought that if not for the tractor engine running I might hear some whimpers from her taped mouth.

  I stood and waited, patiently.

  Eventually, her legs stopped kicking. Soon after that, I watched with such a feeling of accomplishment I can’t even describe as Jenna’s eyes looked all around at first before finally settling on me, and then slowly closing. Her chest no longer rising and falling with breath.

  That’s it. We did it. Good job, Danny boy.

  "Yes, we did," I said. Looking up as Jenna’s body swayed on the rope. "Yes we--"

  "RALPH HE’S HERE!"

  My head spun around fast, just in time to see all two-hundred fifty plus pounds of Special Agent Collins’ body fly through the air and tackle me, knocking me to the ground. My head banged hard against the floor and the world was drenched in black and gray, fading in and out.

  They’re too late. It’s done.

  As the rest of the events unfolded around me, I had only one, very odd, thought.

  I’m never going to get a piece of Minnie’s apple pie.

  Lots of Time

  Chapter 49

  I had left my laptop on the kitchen table. That’s how Ralph found out it was me. And let’s credit Jenna with the assist. I never spoke to Ralph again, not once, but Special Agent Collins filled me in on the details during one of the many long hours we spent in each other’s company over the next few days that followed the night I tried to kill Jenna. Yes, I said tried to kill Jenna. But more on that in a bit.